


From Marc

by christallized



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, I didn't mean to make it angst, I promise, M/M, Romance, Secret Santa, Slice of Life, wholesome bois
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28157751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christallized/pseuds/christallized
Summary: Marc leaves for University.Nathaniel finds a journal from Marc, telling him things he wishes he'd known when he was still here.For the Nathmarc Multiverse Secret Santa
Relationships: Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg
Comments: 47
Kudos: 31
Collections: MarcNath Fics!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mnoeln](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mnoeln/gifts).



"So," Marc said, turning to smile at his high school friend. "This is it."

"This is it," Nathaniel agreed, holding Marc's suitcase. "This is goodbye."

Waiting for the bus on the side of the road on a chilly afternoon wasn't in Nath's top three most beautiful places to have a tearful goodbye, but he wasn't going to let Marc leave without seeing him off first.

His raven-haired friend chuckled. "I hope not. It's only University, it's not like I'll be gone forever."

"Still," Nathaniel frowned. "I'm going to miss hanging out with you every weekend. God, I hated high school, but now that it's over I kind of wish we were still there, y'know?"

"Probably because of the comic." Marc gave a wistful sigh. "I think we managed to end it on a good note."

"I know you're already planning a sequel," Nathaniel teased.

The writer gave a small chuckle. "Nothing that's on paper yet."

The bus stop was empty, save for the two of them. At least they could have a few final moments together without anyone else interrupting.

Nath glanced away, stuffing one hand in his jacket pocket. "I wouldn't mind...making another comic with you. You were the best writer I could have asked for."

Marc reddened at that, hoisting the cardboard box he was holding up on his hip as he checked the bus schedule on his phone again. "I'll miss you and Alix," he said. "But I won't be too far away. You're always welcome to drive up and visit, or like...the internet is still a thing."

"Right." Nathaniel looked away, blinking away tears. He wasn't ready for this to be over yet. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to this chapter in their lives.

"Hey."

Marc's voice brought him back, and he turned to see his friend's eyes brimming with the same threat of tears. "This isn't goodbye," he said, as though to reassure them both. "We'll still be friends, I promise."

"Yeah," Nathaniel choked.

It was then that the bus arrived, rolling up to the sidewalk and coming to a stop. Marc straightened his back, wiping the corner of his eye with his sleeve and tucking the box under one arm so he could take his suitcase from Nath.

"See you later," Marc said, as Nathaniel shifted around the clunky objects to give a quick hug to his friend. Marc tilted his head to press his cheek against Nath's, the closest thing he could give to a hug in return with his arms full.

When Marc stepped on the bus and the doors closed, Nath was still there, waving goodbye and hoping Marc was looking out the window to see. He stayed there as the bus rolled away, down the street, until it was out of sight and he was alone.

Nathaniel took a deep breath, lingering for a moment in the chilly wind of the afternoon, bright and sunny but cold.

He turned and headed home.

~oOo~

Over the years, Nathaniel had accumulated little bits of Marc into his life, songs he liked, his favorite foods, journals and stray jackets that the writer sometimes left at Nathaniel's house when they used to spend long afternoons working on their comic together in his cramped room.

But Marc had left, taken his journals and his hoodies and all the stray pens and little forgotten items that Nathaniel had grown to acknowledge as a part of his home.

The room felt so much emptier without that little bit of Marc in it.

Nathaniel sat down on the edge of his bed. He felt like crying, he didn't want to cry, after all, Marc wasn't going to be gone forever but he already missed him so much.

Besides, it wasn't as if all of him was gone. The comics were still there.

Every issue that they'd ever made was sitting on his bookshelf, signed by both of them because they were massive nerds and because, as Marc had once said, "If the comics end up famous you can always sell these copies off for loads of cash."

Nathaniel scanned the bindings, copy after copy of stories printed and preserved on his little bookshelf. Just by the binding alone, he could see that the earlier issues were much shorter than the ones they had made during their final years in high school, when they were a bit more experienced and more comfortable with telling bigger stories in a short timeframe.

His eyes fell on the first copy. It was old and a little torn with how many times Nath had thumbed through it over the years. Sometimes he and Marc would look through them together. He would cringe at his novice artworks, and Marc would complain about how the dialogue felt stiff and unnatural.

There was another book next to it, a little black book that almost blended in with the dark wood of the bookshelf.

Marc must have forgotten it when he was grabbing his stuff. Nathaniel sighed, standing up to pull it from the shelf. If he ever needed an excuse to visit, at least he could use this.

There was a little note attached to the front.

_To Nathaniel_

Nathaniel looked away, heart suddenly hammering.

Marc left him a note.

Not just that, Marc left him a whole book.

He practically sped back to his bed, kicking off his shoes and curling into his shambled mess of pillows and blankets. If Marc left him an entire book that meant he wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. The little Reverser plushie that Marinette had made for him ended up nestled into his side, and he pulled it closer, hugging it to his chest as he read the note Marc had left for him.

_To Nathaniel,_

_Thank you so much for being my partner these last few years. Being able to make a comic with you was like a dream come true._

_Some dreams are so good, you never want to wake up. But I have to. Choosing to leave for University instead of staying with you was honestly one of the hardest choices I've ever made._

_I'm scared that if I go, we'll end up growing out of touch, and I'll never get the chance to tell you things that I've wanted to say for years._

_So I wrote this for you. It's a collection of journal entries that I've written since our time together. I took some of my favorite ones and rewrote them in this book, along with some secrets that I never got to share._

_With love,_

_From Marc_

Nathaniel leaned back into his pillows, looking out at the afternoon sun shining through the windows. He didn't have anything planned today, and none of his family members were even going to be home 'till tomorrow morning.

With trembling hands, he opened the book.


	2. Chapter 2

_Current Mood: tired and too many emotions_

_I expected a lot of things to happen this afternoon._

_I expected to talk with Nathaniel at the fountain, and we'd end up working together, or talk about it and find out our schedules weren't working out at all, but overall I was feeling pretty confident that things would be okay._

_I didn't expect to be akumatized._

_No one tells you what to expect when you're akumazited. There's a moment right as the butterfly touches you, when you realize what's happening and you're suddenly filled with an overwhelming fear and despair-_

_-and then there's nothing._

_It's like you stop existing. You don't feel, you don't think, but you're still there, like someone in a coma getting turned into a puppet: you don't really know what's happening, but someone else is pulling the strings now._

_The next thing I remembered was falling. At first, I thought it was a dream, one of the ones where you're falling from the sky and you wake up just before you hit the ground. But I didn't. Chat Noir caught me, if I remember correctly._

_Everything else was kind of a blur. I don't really remember what happened, or what everyone was saying. I was a little shocked and confused, trying to figure out how I had gone from crying in the park to falling from the sky._

_I remember Nathaniel was there. I remember Ladybug turned us to face each other, saying something about misunderstandings and how we could work well together._

_I remember Nathaniel offering his hand._

Nathaniel closed his eyes. If he imagined, he could still feel the pressure of Marc's gloved hand in his own when they had first made up, the texture of the leather and the warmth of his fingers in his palm.

~oOo~

"I'm sorry, Marc," he said, once the superheroes had left. The Mayor had abandoned them to return to his rally, and Alix had to go back home, so the two of them had ended up walking down the sidewalk together towards the nearest subway station. "I was way out of line, and I'm so, so sorry."

Marc rubbed his eyes with the arm of his jacket. "I get it," he said. "You were expecting someone else, and I wasn't who you wanted to..."

"I was being stupid, I jumped to conclusions," Nathaniel cut in. "Marc, I really do want to work on a comic with you. Your writing is incredible, it's so...so expressive, and it just pulls you in and-" Nathaniel made wide gestures with his arms. "I actually thought it was the real thing, it felt so authentic when I was reading it."

Marc stared at him, open-mouthed. "O-oh. Gosh, that's...thank you."

~oOo~

_We figured things out, thankfully._

_It was slow going at first. I think both of us were afraid of the other lashing out suddenly, saying something mean._

_Nathaniel said that he really wanted to work on a comic book together. He apologized for shouting at me. I still think he's a little scary, but he's very nice, too._

_~~Not to mention he's cute~~_

_Not to mention he has a lot of passion for his art, kind of like how I do with my writing._

_I hope we get along._

Nathaniel squinted, trying to read the crossed out sentence. The moment he did, his face turned red and he buried his face in his nearby blankets.

Marc thought he was cute from the day they'd first met.

Marc had thought he was cute.

I mean, Nath had thought the same thing about him! Then again, _everyone_ thought Marc was cute. Rose had gushed over his lip gloss, Juleka admired his skill with eyeliner, Marinette said he had a perfect model face, Alix had dubbed him "pretty boy", a nickname she used whenever she wanted to make him flustered.

But Marc had thought _he_ was cute.

The lovesick part of his heart, the part that had always pined for Marc even though he knew the writer was too far out of his league, began to flutter like the day he had first realized his crush on him.

There was another section, taped to the inside of the journal, just under the entry. Nathaniel recognized it the moment his eyes fell on the yellowing paper, and his heart warmed.

It was the first drawing he had given Marc, the concept designs for Mightillustrator and Reverser.

It looked clumsy and disproportionate now, and a part of him instantly cringed looking at his old work, but to think that Marc had kept it...

Next to the picture was a bit of additional text.

_I think we're getting along just fine. Nathaniel seems really nice._

Right, the first time they had met up for their comic. He had been so anxious when they first started out, but the two of them clicked so well.

~oOo~

"Look, here," Nathaniel said, sliding a piece of paper across the table to Marc. "I drew some concept art of Mightillustrator, and Reverser, too, in case you wanted to...add him to the story."

Marc's eyes flitted over the little piece of paper. "This was what I looked like?"

"Well, I made it a bit more exaggerated, realism isn't really my specialty, but yeah, that's you." Nathaniel ducked his head. "Do you like it?"

The writer pulled the paper closer, scrutinizing it with an intense stare. "It's incredible," he whispered. "He looks so confident, I-" his head snapped up, eyes shining with excitement. "We can add him to the comic?"

His lips were pink. His lips were pink and they were very pretty.

"I mean...guh...yeah," Nath stumbled over his words, feeling a little blinded and dazed by the brilliance of Marc's smile. "If you want to."

"And you drew Mightillustrator, too," Marc whispered, turning his attention back to the paper. "So, what would the relationship dynamics be between the four heroes?"

Nath blinked. "The what?"

"Relationship dynamics." Marc stood up, grabbing his journal and pacing around the room. "Who likes who? Who hates who? Is there tension between Mightillustrator and Chat Noir because they're both infatuated with the same person? How does Reverser fit into all of this? What are Ladybug's feelings about having two people vying for her interest?"

"Whoah, whoah, whoah," Nath held up his hand. "Slow down, please."

Marc looked up from his book. "Oh! Sorry, I got a little ahead of myself." Sheepishly, he slid back into the chair next to Nathaniel.

"I don't really know how their dynamics work," Nathaniel said, resting his chin in his hand. "I'm no good with that kind of stuff."

"Well, let's start with Mightillustrator." The writer made a note in his journal. "How would you describe him?"

"Well..." Nathaniel bit his lip. "I made him because I wanted to imagine what I would be like as a superhero. Back then, he was called..." He paused, turning away from Marc, an embarrassed flush rising to the tips of his ears. "S-super Nathan."

He expected Marc to laugh at him, but to his surprise, the writer only gave a thoughtful hum. "Well, I think we'll stick with 'Mightillustrator', if you don't mind."

"I think that's for the best."

~oOo~

Super Nathan...

Oh god.

Just thinking about the name made Nathaniel wince. There's a reason he wasn't the writer of their comic.

The fact that Marc had the patience and the creativity to take all of Nathaniel's little ramblings and half-connected ideas and sketches and somehow turn them into a story never ceased to amaze him.

How many hours had they spent in this same bedroom, bouncing ideas off each other or just writing and drawing in silence, completely focused and content just being where the other was?

The comic was most of what made Nathaniel miss high school so much. Classes and tests were hell on earth, but he'd go through a hundred of Mme. Mendelieve's torturous pop quizzes again just to have one more day with Marc, working on their comic, eating snacks and laughing and making something together.

Nathaniel looked up at the ceiling.

Just one more day.


	3. Chapter 3

_Current Mood: Today sure was a day_

_I was nicknamed "THE Introvert" for a reason as a kid._

_I don't usually talk to people at all if I can help it._

_But the art club is nice._

_A little loud and a lot of personality (especially in Alix's case), but they're nice._

_It took me some time to get used to them, though. Conflicted with my massive social anxiety and innate desire to be a people pleaser made it a difficult task._

It was weird to think of the art club without Marc. Nath couldn't imagine the club without him, he couldn't even remember what it felt like to draw in that room without someone to sit next to and bounce ideas off of.

Of course, it had taken a while for Marc to get associated with the art club. Most of the club had the benefit of being in the same class, but Marc was the outsider in this scenario. Alix had taken that as a personal goal to make sure he got familiar with everyone in the club, much to Marc's distress.

In her defense, it worked.

Eventually.

~oOo~

"Maaaaaarc," Alix sang, draping herself over Nath's shoulder. "Rose wanted to get a writer's opinion about the lyrics she's making."

Nath frowned. "Alix, can you please stop trying to steal my writer?"

"Oh, he's _your_ writer now, is he?" Alix grabbed one of his ears, pulling on it affectionately. "I didn't realize he belonged to anyone."

"He-ow-he doesn't," Nath defended, trying to push his friend away. "But we're trying to make something to show to publishing companies and we can't do that if you keep taking him away-gah! Stop that!"

Alix finally showed pity and stepped back. Nath rubbed his ear, scowling at her.

"Y-yeah," Marc said, looking up from his writing. "I don't know, I'm a little busy right now, so..."

"If Rose wants help she can ask him herself," Nathaniel said.

"Fine," Alix huffed, walking away to where Rose and Juleka were sitting.

Nath turned to Marc. "Sorry, did I overstep? I noticed you didn't seem comfortable with Alix trying to do all this so I thought-"

"No, no, it's fine," Marc said, raising his hand. "Thanks for that."

Nathaniel nodded and the two resumed working in semi-awkward silence.

"They're not that bad once you get to know them, though."

"I guessed that."

Out of the corner of his eye, Nathaniel noticed Alix whispering something to the rest of the girls in the art club. Rose was covering her mouth to hide a smile, Marinette was saying something in a very hushed but insistent voice, and Juleka was...well, being Juleka. Every once in a while, one of them would glance over to the two of them.

"Heads up," he whispered to Marc. "The girls are up to something."

Marc gave the slightest nod in acknowledgement, eyes fixed to the paper.

"Hey, Nath," Marinette said, in that I'm-totally-planning-something voice. "Can you help me with something? I'm working on a design for a dress and I'm trying to pick which color palette I should use."

Nathaniel put his pencil down, turning to face Marinette with a dead stare. "Remember what happened the last time you tried to make a plan involving Marc and I?"

Marinette instantly paled.

"Come on, Nath," Alix cut in. "Marinette just wants to show you her designs!"

"Um," Marinette said, which all but confirmed Nathaniel's suspicions.

"Ahem." Marc looked up at the group. "Look, I know you guys have good intentions but..." he faltered, looking away as whatever confidence he had been trying to build up vanished as the group turned their attention to him.

"He actually spoke to us," Rose whispered out of the corner of her mouth to Juleka.

"Alix," Nath said, glowering at his friend. "I get that you want Marc to get familiar with the art club. But maybe you should ask what he wants first instead of trying to do it your way."

Alix pouted, scuffing her shoe against the floor. "Fine. Sorry, Marc."

"It's fine," Marc mumbled, turning away and returning to his writing.

After art club, Marc and Nathaniel walked out together. Normally, Nath wouldn't mind Alix sliding down the stair banister and jogging into step next to them, but Alix wasn't exactly in his good graces today. The fact that Marc also moved to stand behind Nath only made him more defensive.

"What's up?" He said, trying to sound casual, but the harsh edge in his voice betrayed him.

"No need to go all 'mama bear' on me," Alix said. "I wanted to give a better apology. You were right, I was out of line," she checked something on her hand. Nathaniel caught a glimpse of what looked like Marinette's handwriting on her palm. "I shouldn't have made you uncomfortable Marc, that was wrong of me."

Alix may not be the best with kind words, but at least she sounded like she meant it.

"Thanks," Marc said, relaxing a little. "Oh, my bus is here, I have to go now!" He waved goodbye to Nathaniel, running towards the nearest bus station, which was currently unloading passengers.

"Sorry for being all...prickly towards you," Nath said.

"No, no, I deserved it." Alix stuffed her hands in her pockets. "I took Marc's hesitance as a challenge. Probably shouldn't have done that."

"Yeah."

"You, on the other hand," Alix spun on one heel to face Nath. "What's up with you?"

Nath shot her a puzzled look. "Me?"

"Yeah! You were like...really defending Marc and all that. As if you were some self-appointed bodyguard."

"I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable," Nathaniel said. "That's all."

"No no no," Alix pointed at him. "I know you. I know that you don't act like that around people, ever. _You're_ usually the shy one that never talks to people unless they talk to you first." Alix narrowed her eyes. "You got a crush on him or something?"

"What?" Nathaniel snorted. "Shut up."

~oOo~

_Nathaniel stepping up for me was, honestly, really nice of him. He kept checking back to me to make sure he wasn't overstepping his boundaries, and with how...exciting the rest of the art club can be, having a mitigator helps a lot._

_I definitely want to stick around, if just because of Nath._

_I mean, I was scared of him at first, but now it's like I'm drawn to him somehow. I can't explain it, but I like being around him._

_Maybe because he's a good friend. Maybe I have a little bit of a crush on him. Maybe we're some kind of soulmates or something._

_Who knows? Not me!_

_Am I panicking about this because I don't know how to feel about him? Maybe!_

_It could just be a passing thing. Maybe I'm overthinking it. I'm probably overthinking it. I should be doing homework instead of rambling in my journal about my thirty-fourth emotional crisis of the week._

There was something endearing about how honest Marc was with his emotions. Nathaniel couldn't stand liars, and Marc was so open and heartfelt about everything he did that Nathaniel sometimes wondered how he'd ever mistaken such a kind boy as someone who would try to impersonate Ladybug to make fun of him.

Nath didn't want to admit that the mention of Marc possibly having a crush stood out to him more than it should have.

It's no wonder the rest of the art club wanted to get to know Marc. He was like...purity personified. Alix had eventually listened to Marc, and the two of them had formed an agreement. Marc would let Alix introduce him to the rest of the art club, but only if he said she could.

It took months for Marc to break out of his shell and make friends with the whole club, including the subsection of the Kitty Section band. And eventually, because the art club wanted Marc to meet all of their friends, too, he ended up making friends with their entire class.

Everyone loved Marc.

Which made it all the harder when he told them that he was leaving.

~oOo~

"You're leaving Paris?" Alix's eyes were wide.

Marc rubbed the back of his neck. "It's a good University, but it's outside the city," he said. "Plus, I got a good scholarship. I'm leaving this Autumn."

"That's great," Marinette said, a smile on her face. "I'm happy for you." She meant it, and everyone knew it, but no one missed the bittersweet tone in her voice.

Rose bit her lip. "But...what about the comic?"

Nathaniel looked up at Marc, then back to the group. "The volume we're working on now is going to be our last," he said. "We'll be posting the final issue just before Marc leaves."

The six of them sat around the art room, normally a place full of life and the bustling energy of something always being created, but today it was silent.

Rose tried to smile, but there were tears already starting to fall. Juleka pulled her girlfriend close, rubbing her back.

"Please don't cry," Marc said. "If you'll cry, I'll cry and we both don't want to see that."

Rose laughed, furiously wiping her eyes. "I know," she said. "I'm just...We're going to miss you so much!"

Alix was the first to step forward, clapping a hand on Marc's shoulder. "We'll all support you," she said.

Marc looked to Nath. "I know."

Nathaniel smiled back. Marc had talked to him yesterday while they were working on the comic, confessed that he was scared, but he knew that he would still have friends back home, friends that had helped him become more confident and self-assured.

"Marc." Marinette's voice was soft, honest. "No matter where you go, you'll always have a home with us," she said. "Don't forget that."

"Always," Rose assured. Juleka nodded.

"I won't." Marc stood up. "Thanks, guys." He turned and left, closing the door behind him.

The five of them looked at each other, alone in the art room.

Rose was the first to start crying.

~oOo~

Maybe Marc would make new friends at his University. Nath wasn't sure if that thought made him happy or miserable.

Of course Marc would make new friends, he was Marc. Everyone loved him. It wouldn't be difficult for him if he wanted to.

But that would just cement the fact that Marc had left them.

That Marc had left him.

He didn't want to think about how long it would take for Marc to forget about him completely.


	4. Chapter 4

_Current Mood: gay pining_

_At this point it's no use beating around the bush._

_I have feelings for Nath._

Whoah whoAH OK-

His heart should not be beating this fast. It was probably unhealthy to go from mopey and depressed to a skyrocketing heartbeat in half a second. Jesus christ.

How long was the book? How many entries were there? None of the writings were dated, so Nath wasn't even sure when this was written, but he'd barely started, and oh boy, oh man, Marc was going to be the death of him and he wasn't even here.

Nathaniel pressed the journal to his chest. If he ended up having a heart attack because of Marc's writing, well, that was a risk he was willing to take.

_I'm not exactly picky when it comes to who I have feelings for. I've had crushes on multiple fictional characters, I've had celebrity crushes, a guy once said hi to me when walking down the street and my brain did a full computer bluescreen moment._

_So catching feelings for Nathaniel was not a surprise to me. The first day I met him I knew I was done for._

_I just didn't expect to fall this hard._

_I keep getting distracted from writing because I see him out of the corner of his eye and he just looks dazzling. The way his face looks when he focuses, how he seems so enraptured by the things he makes, how he moves, everything...he shines, even when he doesn't realize it. It's almost impossible to look away._

Nathaniel was used to being known as the wallflower. Classmates had honestly forgotten he existed because he was such an introvert. A field trip bus had once left without him because no one noticed he was missing. He'd actually managed to disappear from classes entirely on more than one occasion without issue.

But Marc wrote about him like...like he was a goddamn lightbulb in a dark room. Marc noticed him, noticed things about him.

_He has a smile like a sunset, every grin as captivating as the one before, too bright to look at directly, but I long to nonetheless._

_I know my feelings have gotten bad when I start writing poetry._

_Should I tell him? We haven't been partners for very long, it feels rushed, I don't know what I'd do if he said no, I don't want to ruin the comic because of feelings that could be gone in the next month._

_Still, is it bad that I can't stop thinking about him?_

_A few days ago I had a dream, which I will not be writing down on the off-chance that someone reads this journal. It was a dream that I can't seem to be able to get out of my head._

_Not only that, but it's interfering with my daily life, too. Nathaniel touched my hand while grabbing his pencil and I nearly jumped out of my skin._

_Is it bad to have dreams like that about your best friend?_

He shouldn't pry, but curiosity made him wonder...what kind of dreams did Marc have about him?

Nathaniel wasn't exactly innocent-he'd daydreamed about Marc before, and there had been times when accidentally brushing against the writer would feel like Cupid had taken a taser to his heart.

Every touch felt like electricity across his body. It had taken a long time before Nathaniel had realized why he felt that way.

~oOo~

"You doing good?" Nathaniel rested his chin in his hand to gaze fondly at Marc as he stepped in, hair mussed and eyes half-lidded.

"Just woke up," Marc replied, entering Alix's living room. Nathaniel scooted over on the couch to make room for him in between the two of them while Alix worked on getting the TV to start.

"Dude," she said. "It's like 8 pm."

"Was taking a nap. Didn't sleep yesterday." Marc flopped down on the couch, grabbing the blanket nearby and pulling it to his chest.

"Well, hopefully some snacks and soda will keep you awake for our movie marathon!" Alix fist-pumped the air. "Who's ready to watch ass-kicking and eat popcorn till we pass out?!"

"Yay," Nathaniel said, much less enthusiastically. He wasn't really interested in whatever Alix wanted to watch, he was just there because the three of them were going to the amusement park tomorrow, so Alix had arranged a sleepover at her house the night before.

Judging by the way Marc was already nodding off, head drooping, he had no intentions of being awake for the marathon. Alix ignored that and started the movie.

The writer certainly tried. For a whole forty minutes, Marc tried to stay awake, blinking at the screen with bleary eyes.

Nathaniel was trying to pay attention to the movie when he felt a pressure against his side. Marc was leaning into him, head on his shoulder, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

The redhead suddenly felt warm all over, like the temperature in the room had skyrocketed to desert-like heats. He could feel Marc's hair softly tickling his cheek, the calm, deep breaths raising goosebumps on his skin, the quiet snoring that was barely audible over the noise of the movie.

God, he looked cute. His slightly parted lips were much more interesting than whatever was on the screen.

What would they feel like if...?

Nathaniel blinked. Then blinked again. Then blinked a few more times just to be sure that whatever was going on in his head and heart was actually happening.

He... _liked_ Marc.

Not just as a friend, but as someone who made his heart race and face grow flushed. Someone that he would let sleep on his shoulder like this even if the world was ending around them.

Guess this was his life now.

Uh...Cool.

He ended up falling asleep in the middle of the movie marathon, too, head resting on top of Marc's, one hand clutching the writer's blanket.

When Alix woke them up to make them sleep on their designated couches, neither of them said a word. It was never brought up again.

Nathaniel would never forget it.

~oOo~

No one was there to see, but Nath was still trying to hide the redness of his face under his shirt collar, pulling it up over his nose as he read every line, trying to commit it all to memory.

_Is it bad that when I can't get to sleep, I sometimes imagine him cuddling me, arms wrapped around me, pulling me to his chest?_

_Is it bad that I try to think of his slight breathing against the back of my neck, peppered with light kisses and whispers that are only spoken in the illusion of anonymity that comes with night?_

_Some people have described me as 'innocent' and 'pure-minded'._

_God, no. What I write here doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of some of my thoughts._

_If someone ever read this I might die of shame._

He might just die of pure pining alone. Nathaniel had drawn little comics of Marc before, secrets ones in his own home, so no one could see and make fun of him, like how Chloe had done when he became Evillustrator.

Most of them weren't too incriminating. Some of them were obviously romantic, and some of them...shouldn't be mentioned.

When Marc started coming over to work on the comic at his house, Nath had panicked and burned all of them, but there was always a doodle or two in between his math notes or on a stray napkin that he would sometimes draw, until he eventually came to the conclusion that Marc probably only saw him as a friend and stopped drawing him all the time.

The romantic in him wanted to believe that this was a love letter to him, but the pessimistic side was convinced it wasn't anything like that at all.

This journal was a lament, a testament to the feelings that Marc probably no longer harbored. Any moment now he'd turn the page and the journal would say something about how Marc had lost his romantic view of him, how he now saw Nathaniel as just a platonic partner, close to his heart but only to a certain extent.

_The heart is too goddamn complicated. I wish I could either know how he feels or just stop feeling like this altogether._

_I wish for a lot of things._

_I wish I could get to sleep._

I wish for a lot of things too, Nathaniel wanted to say. I wish I had listened to you more. I wish I had taken a chance, all those years ago.

I wish you were still here.


	5. Chapter 5

_Current Mood: Sugar crash_

_Today marks (marcs, ha) the one year anniversary of our first issue's publication. The art club threw us a surprise party._

_Of course, since Marinette and Alix were in charge of it, the way the entire party happened was one of the most bizarre adventures I've ever been on._

Oh, boy.

Nathaniel knew exactly what Marc was talking about. Marc's description in the journal entry was accurate enough as he read it, but even all the writer's talent couldn't portray the exact chaos of that particular moment.

~oOo~

"How about ice cream?" Nathaniel stretched, walking down the steps of his house with Marc. "To commemorate our comic's one year anniversary."

Marc raised an eyebrow. "Andre's?"

Nath's heart skipped a beat. God, he wished he had the confidence to ask Marc to eat at Andre's. "Don't know where he set up shop."

Of course, that didn't really mean much. Even if he didn't know, he could always ask Marinette or Alix. Marinette, being friends with Alya, tended to have access to information about pretty much everything. And Alix would find Andre just through the sheer power of proving that she could.

Thankfully, Marc didn't know that, or if he did, he didn't press. He looked up, yawning, then suddenly froze, still looking up. "Why is Rose on top of your roof?"

Nathaniel turned around, just catching a glimpse of pink as something moved out of view. "Huh."

He was about to go and investigate when his phone started ringing. It was Alix's phone number.

Marc was still looking up at the roof of the house, looking very concerned. Nathaniel answered his phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, man," Alix said, sounding like she was gritting her teeth. "My, uh, dog got run over by a car and I need you to come over here."

"What?"

" _Shut up, this was your_ -hey, Nath. Yeah, I need you to come to my house right now- _I know oh my god_ -my dog. He's very sick. He's going to die."

" _What?_ "

"Oh, no," Alix drawled. "He's...puking all over the carpet. And bleeding. Bleeding and puking. It's everywhere. You better hurry and get over here. Bye." She hung up, leaving Nathaniel bewildered.

Marc raised an eyebrow. "What was that?"

Nathaniel stared at his phone, mortified. "Alix doesn't even have a dog," he said.

At that moment a car rolled up to the street, and a woman who looked much too big for the car stuck her head out the window. "Yo! Sis said you needed a ride."

Nathaniel felt the saliva leave his mouth from sheer fear. "Who are you?"

"Name's Nora. I'm Alya's big sister. Now are you getting in or not?"

Normally, Nathaniel would disagree about getting into a car with a stranger, but it seemed like something was probably going on and this woman had arms like a buffalo and a look on her face that told Nath he was going in the car, whether he wanted to or not.

"O-okay."

The two boys squeezed into the back of what seemed to be the Cesaire family car, and instantly regretted it when Nora slammed her foot into the gas pedal before they could even close the doors and they were speeding down the road, screaming and fumbling for seatbelts.

"HEADS UP, WE'RE MAKING A TURN!" Nora bellowed.

"MARC!" Nath grabbed the writer's arm in a tight grip and the front seat with his other hand as the car made a tight swerve, nearly flinging his partner out the open door.

Marc clapped a hand over his mouth, whether because he was about to scream or vomit, Nath couldn't tell. His face was deathly pale, fingers digging into Nath's arm for dear life.

Ten minutes and a speeding ticket later, the car rolled to a stop in front of Alix's place.

Nathaniel stepped out of the car, legs shaking and feeling like he had survived a near-death experience. Marc immediately ran towards the nearest trashcan and threw up.

"Take care," Nora said, ticket crumpled in her fist. Nathaniel raised a hand in farewell, still shaking. The engine roared to life and the car was gone.

"Marc, are you okay?" Nath turned to his writer, who was going through a second round of throwing up. "Marc-ew, that sounds gross."

Marc made a face, pulling away from the trashcan. "It feels worse," he said with a grimace. "Let's go help Alix's dog that doesn't exist-WHY IS JULEKA ON ALIX'S ROOF?!"

Indeed, perched like a gargoyle on the edge of the roof, was the classmate goth, a phone in her hand. Nathaniel didn't know what to do, so he waved at her, hoping that she could see the utter confusion on his face. After a few seconds, she waved back.

Nathaniel knocked on the door. "Alix?"

No response.

"Alix, I need you to open the door," Nathaniel yelled. "I lost the spare keys you gave me." He jiggled the doorknob. "I can't get in."

There were some rustling noises on the other side, and after a few moments, the door opened and Alix was standing there. "Yeah, yeah, come in," she said.

Marc peeked over Nath's shoulder. "Why are all the lights off?"

"Uh.....my dog's dead. I'm in mourning." Alix's face looked like she couldn't care less about her dead imaginary dog. "Come in."

Nathaniel stepped into the dark room. "Is this a cult thing? Is this what you guys are-"

The lights flicked on.

"SURPRISE!"

Marc shrieked as the lights turned on and a bucket of confetti was tossed directly in his face, raining glitter and bright streams of colored paper over his head and covering him like the world's sparkliest snowfall.

Once his eyes had adjusted to the light, Nathaniel's face lit up as he saw most of the art club and some of his classmates standing in front of him, armed with streamers and party hats and-oh boy, more buckets of glitter. The unexpressive look on Alix's face was instantly replaced with a wild grin and a gleam in her eyes that made Nathaniel feel a spike of sudden fear.

"No, no, _no, Alix_!" Nathaniel flinched as Alix grabbed a bucket and ran at him full speed, eyes shining.

Marc, bless the heavens and skies above, stepped in Alix's way, catching the full force of the confetti, shielding Nathaniel from most of the blast.

"Surprise, pretty boy!" Alix cheered, tossing the empty bucket to the side. Marc made a face, brushing glitter off of his jacket.

"Thanks," he muttered, nose scrunched up in distaste. "Really needed that."

Marinette was standing behind a table with a cake and a few gifts off to the side. Juleka was leaning against the window that led to the fire escape, while Ivan and Mylene were sitting on the couch in the living room. Alya was at the back of the room, recording it all and smiling widely.

"Rose should be here soon," Alix said. "Anyways, happy anniversary!"  
"Comic anniversary," Marc corrected, running his fingers through his hair, trying to brush out the glitter.

"Whatever."

"Should we wait for Rose before we have the cake?" Marinette asked.

"I say we have cake now and then open presents when Rose gets here," Alix declared.

Nathaniel stared, slackjawed at the unexpected party. "Guys, you didn't have to-"

But Alix was already pulling them towards the table. "You guys get the first slice!"

Nath was the first one to collapse into giggles, then Marc, who couldn't stay in a bad mood for long. There wasn't really a reason as to why they were laughing, a mix of the weird things that had happened and the general lighthearted mood, but as they helped themselves to cake and the company of friends, Nath didn't stop smiling until long after the party was over.

~oOo~

Nathaniel pressed the Reverser plushie in his bed closer to his chest. It had been one of the gifts from that party, courtesy of Marinette. Marc had taken the Mightillustrator plushie. Did he still have it?

He affectionately poked one of the triangle points of Reverser's hood, which had been rounded out so the edges wouldn't hurt anyone. The white parts of him had grown less white with time and a few unfortunate mishaps, since his oversized head made it hard for him to sit up without eventually falling over into whatever project might be next to the doll.

His mismatched button eyes still made Nath melt. In the comics, Reverser was the cool, intimidating one, but Marinette had made the doll chubby and cute, an almost amusing contrast. For weeks afterwards, they'd bring the Reverser plushie and MightyDoll with them whenever they were going to work on the comic, as moral support and to throw at each other in good fun.

_The party was fun, but it was exhausting. I probably had way too much cake, but in my defense, Alix dared me and Marinette bakes like she's a world-class chef. If there was a superhero dedicated to baking, Marinette would be that._

_Nathaniel told me I shouldn't take Alix up on any dares, but I was feeling too giddy to turn her down. Sorry Nath, but I have no regrets, an extra 15 euros, and I feel like I'm dying._

_Alix texted me some photos she took from the party. If I wake up tomorrow not feeling like my gut wants to turn my insides into my outsides, I'll see if I can figure out how to print one or two and add them here._

In the journal was a photo of them from the party, smiling, arms around each other. Marc's hair was absolutely covered in confetti, making his hair sparkle in the light. It had taken forever for all the glitter to get out of his hair, they kept finding stray pieces in his locks for weeks afterwards.

Nath sighed, tracing a hand over the photo.

He should have thrown a going away party for Marc, or done something more special than just driving Marc up to the University and back, helping him get his stuff into the dorms, and holding his suitcase for him on the day he finally left.

It wouldn't even have had to be a big thing. They could have just had a sleepover, like when they were kids, eating popcorn and watching movies.

It was too late for that now. Maybe one day he could find an excuse to drive back up there, hang out with Marc for a weekend.

The world always felt a little less gray when hanging around the most colorful person he knew.


	6. Chapter 6

_Current mood: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA_

_I usually think I'm pretty good at hiding that I have a crush on Nathaniel. I'm pretty sure he doesn't know._

_Or didn't._

_Nathaniel invited me to a hangout with some of his classmates. At this point I'm pretty sure they consider me an honorary member of their class now, even though I don't really talk to any of them if they're not from the art club._

_Anyway, Kim decided we should play some games. I managed not to get involved in Truth or Dare, I hid in the bathroom during Never Have I Ever, but then Alix found me and told me to join the next game, or, in her words, "to kick social anxiety's ass and come play for a bit."_

_So, I decided, "sure, what can go wrong?"_

_The game was Spin the Bottle._

Spin the bottle...?

Oh.

Oh no.

Nathaniel remembered that day. Well, most of what he remembered was leaving the party right afterwards to go home, hide under his bed, and scream.

~oOo~

"We have an even number now!" Alix sang, dragging Marc into the circle. Nathaniel looked up from his phone as Alix kicked the side of his leg, making him shuffle over to make room for the writer.

"We don't need an even number for this game," Marinette argued.

"So, uh...what are we playing?" Marc asked, blinking innocently. Adrien, Marinette, Kim, Sabrina, Rose, and Juleka were all sitting around Nath and him, while Alix took a seat in the center of the circle, using her hat as a bucket as she started writing names on a sheet of paper and dropping them into the hat.

Adrien smiled innocently. "We're going to play spin the bottle!"

"But we don't have a bottle," Alix said, "so we're gonna draw names from a hat." She plopped the hat in her lap. "As your unbiased judge and the owner of the hat, I get to pull the names."

"Um." Marc folded his hands in his lap. "S-spin the bottle?"

"You don't have to join if you don't want to," Nathaniel said, putting a hand on Marc's shoulder.

"It's fine!" Marc said, face red.

"First person!" Alix declared before anyone could say otherwise, pulling a name from the hat. "Nathaniel!"

Oh no.

He was supposed to start the game?

All eyes were on him. Nathaniel felt his face heat up, heart hammering wildly. Even though they were allowed to decide between kissing on the lips or the cheek, it was still a little terrifying, a little exciting, a little bit of everything that made his skin tingle and hands start sweating.

"Second person!" Alix pulled the name out, reading the paper. Her eyes flicked up to Nathaniel, a grin spreading across her face that just made Nathaniel more anxious. "Marc."

_Oh no._

He couldn't do this. He could _not_ do this.

Play it cool. Don't let Marc know you have a crush on him.

Slowly, Nathaniel turned to look at Marc, who was staring at him with the same surprised expression, both of them red-faced. Nath's throat went dry. He swallowed, and the writer's eyes instantly flicked towards the movement.

Shit.

Marc closed his eyes, taking a slow, deep breath. Nath fidgeted with the seam on the side of his pants, trying to stall the moment when he would have to face Marc and actually do this.

"Uh..." Nath said, "S-so-"

Marc grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him.

There was a collective gasp from the group, a chorus of cheers and squeals and excited noises.

Nath felt fireworks explode across his lips. Marc's lips tasted better than he could have ever imagined, pressed fiercely against his own like a branding iron.

And then he pulled back, leaving the artist dazed and disoriented.

Marc's eyes were wide, face red, lips shining, gasping for breath, still holding the artist's face in his hands. Nathaniel found himself lost for words, staring open-mouthed at the intense beauty of his partner.

"Wooo!" Kim cheered, clapping enthusiastically. "What a way to start the game!"

"And on the lips, too!" Rose nodded appreciatively. "Good choice!"

Marc turned to the group. "Choice?"

"Yeah," Adrien said. "You can choose to kiss on the lips or the cheek!"

The color drained from Marc's face.

Juleka turned to Alix. "You didn't tell him?"

"I forgot," Alix replied bluntly, not looking sorry in the slightest.

Marc jerked away from Nathaniel as though he had just been scalded with fire. "I have to-I gotta go." Face red, he turned and rushed towards the bathroom.

"I uh..." Nath stood up. "I should go home too. It's getting late."

Mind still fuzzy, he grabbed his bag and left the house. His lips still felt warm, as though he could still feel the pressure against his mouth.

Marc had kissed him.

Marc had kissed him and regretted it.

~oOo~

_Kissing him was like a dream._

_But also WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THERE WAS A CHOICE BETWEEN THE CHEEK AND THE LIPS???_

_I ruined my chances, didn't I?_

_Nathaniel looked so shocked afterwards. I don't know if he even liked it or not. I didn't know what to do, so I ran._

_I hid in the bathroom for at least thirty minutes, panicking, trying to figure out what I should say to Nathaniel when I got out._

_Should I lay it all out? Confess my feelings? Or pretend it was all a mistake, try to laugh it off? Did Alix rig the game? Alix probably rigged the game, that seems like something she'd do._

_What if I told him that I liked him and he got mad because I kissed him so hard when he didn't actually feel the same way? What if it makes things awkward between us?_

_It didn't matter, because when I finally worked up the courage to walk back out, Nathaniel was gone._

_I ended up going home after that. The art club was whispering to each other. I think they know._

_On the other hand, at least I got to kiss him. I don't know whether to laugh or cry, I feel like I'm on cloud nine and the ninth circle of hell at the same time._

_Tomorrow has never felt scarier._

They'd avoided each other for a full week afterwards, one of the most difficult weeks of Nathaniel's life. Alix stayed with him most of the time so he wouldn't get akumatized, but he'd been inconsolable until he finally worked up the nerve to talk with Marc again.

~oOo~

Gently, Nathaniel rapped the staircase above Marc's head. He was deep in his writing trance, pencil moving swiftly across the paper, but Nathaniel knew better than to try and peek over his shoulder and read without permission.

Marc looked up and stalled. The book closed with a snap.

"H-hey," Nathaniel said, feeling a little shaky.

Be cool. You have nothing to worry about. Marc is your friend.

"I...heard back from our publisher," he continued, throat feeling dry. "He said we did a good job with our latest issue, and it's ready to go if we wanted to release it early or stay on our schedule."

"Well," Marc chewed on his bottom lip, lost in thought. Nathaniel tried not to stare at his lips.

Well, if "trying" gave out awards, he wouldn't even have gotten a participation trophy. Marc's lips were even harder to look away from now, now that he knew what they felt like, and tasted like, and-

Maybe a participation trophy was being generous.

"I think we should keep on schedule," Marc said. "It might get confusing if we release it early for no reason, and we can use that time to start planning more in advance."

Nathaniel nodded. "Do you want to talk about it in the art club after school?"

A proposition. A chance for them to stick together, to not let what happened drive them away.

"I'll be there," Marc said, looking up and meeting Nath's eyes for the first time in a week.

Nathaniel nodded, straightening up and walking away. He felt unreasonably sweaty, as though his heart had run a marathon.

Alix was waiting a few paces away. "See, that wasn't so hard," she said, crossing her arms.

"Speak for yourself," Nathaniel mumbled, pushing past her and walking away. Marc hadn't seemed bothered, or flushed, or...well, other than how Marc usually was with his anxiety. He probably didn't think twice about what happened.

Alix fell into step next to him. "You okay?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

~oOo~

He couldn't bring himself to talk about the kiss.

They pretended nothing had happened. They didn't talk about it. Nathaniel had assumed that meant Marc didn't like him. From that point on he'd chosen to lock his feelings away, admit that the crush he had on Marc would lead to nothing and move on with his life.

To think of what he could have had if he had just talked to Marc then...he could feel a lump forming in his throat.

It didn't matter.

By now, Marc had probably moved on, too.

Maybe it was for the best.

Even if he could still sometimes feel that kiss on his lips.


	7. Chapter 7

_Current Mood: If I could draw a smiley face that's also sobbing incoherently I would_

_We published the last issue for our comic today._

_There wasn't a big party, no outlandish celebrations or weird schemes from the art club. Just me and Nath, sitting at his computer and pressing the final button together to upload it onto the website._

Nathaniel glanced over at his laptop. It was a terrible laptop and it worked slower than his dead relatives, but they wouldn't have been able to publish their comics without it. The keyboard letters were mostly scratched off by now, and the esc key had fallen off long ago. He'd given it to Marc, with some cheesy "so you can use it to _escape_ from the real world through your stories" and Marc had given him a gloriously soul-crushed look but pocketed it anyway.

_I wasn't sure how I'd feel once it was over. Every time we reached another milestone, like when I wrote the final paragraph, or we edited the last page, I kept realizing, "this is it. This is where our story ends." And it scared me._

_But once it was done, once we'd uploaded it, I felt, for a moment, at peace._

_Everything we'd been working on for the past few years had led to this one moment._

_We did the best we could and we made something special._

_I wish we could have done more._

~oOo~

"It's over," Marc said, leaning back in the chair.

"Yeah." Nath felt a little numb inside. A part of him still didn't believe that it was all actually over.

"We did good."

"We did."

Marc took a deep breath. If it had been anyone else, Nathaniel might have missed it, but he was so accustomed to Marc that he noticed the moment the writer's bottom lip started quivering a little.

"Hey," he leaned forward, touching Marc's shoulder. "It's okay."

Marc gave a choking laugh, as tears started to form in his eyes. "I know," he said, the first tear slipping. "I just-I..."

He didn't need to say anything. Nath knew. This final comic meant the end of them. Marc would be gone soon, and they might never see each other again. They'd always been stuck together through their comic, but now that it was done, now that they were going separate ways, the future might intend for them to drift apart.

"Marc," he said.

The writer's tried to smile reassuringly, but couldn't. "Ha, I-I don't-"

Nathaniel reached out and pulled Marc into a hug.

The sob that wrenched itself from Marc's lips filled the empty room as his arms came up to clutch Nathaniel's jacket, burying his head into the artist's shoulder. "I-"

"I know," Nath whispered, breath shaky as his throat tightened and he blinked furiously to hold back tears. But Marc broke down in his arms and he found himself crumbling too, holding his partner and crying, a eulogy to their past.

He wanted to keep Marc, convince him to stay.

But Marc was never meant to be his.

Nathaniel clenched his fingers into the soft fabric of the writer's jacket as the shaking sobs eventually melted into quiet trembling. "I'll miss you."

Marc sniffled. "I'll miss you too."

And Nathaniel let him go.

Marc pulled away, wiping his nose with one sleeve. "Thank you," he said, eyes stark green and still as captivating as the day he'd first seen them. "For everything."

"Y-yeah." Nathaniel fumbled for the drawers. "Hang on, I've got tissues here somewhere."

"Do you have makeup wipes? I think my mascara smeared on my hand."

"They're in the bathroom."

As Marc stood up to leave, Nath watched him go, until the door closed and he was alone.

~oOo~

Nathaniel wiped a tear with the palm of his hand. It had only been a few days ago. It hurt to think that it was all over.

Eventually, he'd have to move on.

Even if he was scared to, even if it hurt.

Was this what Marc's journal was about? Treasuring memories but moving on?

He was never good at book reviews and analyzing and all that. That was Marc's area of expertise.

_I don't think I'll ever forget what Nath has done for me._

_I'm scared that I will._

_But every story comes to an eventual end, and I think our story, while a happy one, may have to end on a bittersweet note._

Nath's fingers hovered at the end of the sentence. That was it. Only one more page and Marc's little book was over.

In a way, it felt like he'd be using up the final piece of what Marc had left.

He was ready to let go now.

Marc would never truly be gone. So much of his life had been impacted by the writer, it would be impossible to lose all of him forever.

But this part of their lives was over.

And he was okay with that.


	8. Chapter 8

The final page wasn't a journal entry. It was another letter.

_To Nathaniel,_

_I'm writing this the day before I leave. I don't know when you'll find this._

_You've changed my life in ways that I never thought was possible. You helped me find confidence in the things I could do and inspired me constantly through the years._

_I grew to love your passion, your enthusiasm for anything you thought was worth caring for, whether it was your art or your friends._

_We may have started out on a less-than-desirable note, but I'm so glad we managed to move past that._

_As I spent more time with you, I feel like you became more and more of a part of me and my life. Knowing that I'm going away feels like I'm leaving a part of my own essence behind._

_Losing you is the greatest pain I could ever face._

_Which is why I never told you how I felt. I cared about you in many ways, and I wasn't sure if you felt the same way. I didn't-and still don't-want to lose the friendship that we spent years building._

_So I wrote it down here. By now I'll be gone for University (or maybe not, depending on how long it takes for you to find this book, if you ever do, side note clean your room more)._

_If you don't feel the same way, that's okay. You don't have to say anything. You can give the book back to me if you ever come to visit, we can pretend this never happened._

_If you do, well, you know how to contact me._

_I wait for the next time we'll see each other._

_And as scary as it is to admit,_

_I want you to know this, too._

_I love you._

_From Marc._

Nathaniel let the book rest on his lap, closing it.

It was fully night outside, the moon shining through his window.

He took a deep breath.

Then another.

Oh.

Marc...loved him.

Marc loved him.

All this time, Marc had still loved him. And Nathaniel, like an _idiot_ , had just let him go before he even tried.

_Marc loved him._

_He had to tell Marc._

Nathaniel swung his legs off the side of the bed and jumped to his feet quick enough to give him a head rush. Stumbling, he grabbed his shoes, pulling his jacket over his shoulders, stuffing his phone and keys into his pocket, grabbing his bag-and the little black book, before he could forget- and raced out of his room.

"I'm heading out!" He yelled, just in case someone happened to be home. Then he was out the door, running to his car, key in the ignition and rolling out into the street.

He had to tell Marc.


	9. Chapter 9

He must have driven for hours in the dark.

It felt like minutes, it felt like days, it felt like time didn't matter a single moment more. It was well past midnight by the time he finally reached the university, parking outside of the plaza next to the dormitories.

Stepping out of the car, Nathaniel shivered as he was hit with a burst of cold air from the outside. A light snowfall was starting, dusting his cheeks and nose with little white snowflakes and stinging wind.

And that's when he remembered.

He forgot to tell Marc he was coming.

Whoops.

Nathaniel pulled out his phone. Would he still be awake at this hour? Hands trembling from anxiety and the cold, he called him.

And waited.

What if Marc didn't respond? Should he go up to his room and knock on the door? What if his roommate answered? What if Marc wasn't there and the roommate called the cops because there was a stranger on campus and he wasn't supposed to be here and-

On the third ring, Marc picked up.

"Hello?"

Nathaniel's breath shook. "Hey."

"Nath, it's 3 am."

"I know. Um," Nathaniel shuffled his foot against the ground. "I'm uh. In the plaza. At your university."

There was a beat of silence. "What?"

"Yeah, I just got here."

"...Nathaniel, what the hell?"

"I forgot to call you, I had something to give you and I forgot to tell you I was coming-"

He heard rustling on the other side of the phone. "Hold on, I'll be out in a moment."

"O-okay."

Nathaniel blinked, heart pounding, the wind picking up and nipping at his ears and the end of his nose. He shifted his weight, trying to keep his limbs from stiffening up while he waited. His short, nervous breaths were visible in the air. Pulling the little black book from his bag, he held it to his chest, heart hammering.

Waiting in the snow at the plaza of a University campus at 3am wasn't in Nath's top three places to have a reunion, but if it meant seeing Marc again then he'd wait for as long as he could.

It seemed like forever until he saw something moving under the dim light of a lampost. Marc was walking out, arms wrapped around himself, definitely not dressed for the weather in a tank top, shorts, and a pair of slippers.

"Marc!" Nath called out, catching his attention.

Marc's eyes fixed on him. "Nath!" His face lit up instantly, and then he was running, and Nath was running, too, and as they met in the middle he pulled Marc close and buried his face in the writer's shoulder and Marc wrapped his arms around Nathaniel in the tightest hug he could give.

"Hope I didn't wake you up," Nath murmured.

Marc pulled away. "It's fine. I couldn't sleep, anyway. Why did you-" his eyes moved down to the book in Nath's hand and he froze. "O-oh."

"Marc-"

There was fear in the writer's eyes, hands clenched anxiously into Nath's jacket. "And, so soon, ha, I didn't expect you to..."

Nathaniel pressed the book into Marc's hands, letting his fingers curl into the writers. His fingers intertwined perfectly in Marc's. "I love you," he said.

Marc stopped, a shaky breath escaping from his lips and materializing in the cold air.

"I love you," Nath repeated, "and I didn't think you felt the same way, so I never said anything. A-and I know you said every story has an ending, even ours, but...I-I was thinking maybe we could squeeze in, like, one more chapter? Or, like, a sequel, or something-"

Marc grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him.

His lips felt warm against the cold, like a comforting hearth, moving and licking flames against his breath. He was everything that the cold couldn't take from him anymore, everything Nathaniel had longed for.

He felt like home.

Nathaniel kissed back, their warm breaths crystallizing in the frosty air, snowfall melting on their lips and faces and bodies, pressed close, craving each other's touch in the way they had craved for years, longing but never having until now, now with his lips and his heat and his hands, cold on his skin but sending fire through his body.

When they separated, slowly, wistfully, Marc's face was red with warmth and chill, and he held Nathaniel close. "You're too much," he laughed, pressing his face into Nathaniel's shirt. "You came here in the middle of the night?"

"It was very much on impulse," Nath admitted. "I didn't realize how cold it was going to get tonight." He groaned. "I'm not looking forward to driving home in this weather."

Marc's hands linked around Nath's waist. "My roommate shouldn't be getting here until late afternoon tomorrow," he said. "Stay here for a while."

"You'd have me?"

"Well I can't leave the man I love out in the cold, now." Marc giggled, like he couldn't believe his own words.

Nathaniel laughed too, letting Marc grab his hands and drag him inside.

There were tears, there were kisses, there were hands and wrists and necks and bedsheets and warmth and sleep and then, all too soon, there was morning again.

Nathaniel kissed one last goodbye to his boyfriend's forehead before getting ready to head back home.

"Come visit again," Marc said, leaning against Nath's car.

"I'll find as many excuses as I can," Nathaniel promised, patting his jeans. "Where did my keys go?"

"Oh! Your bookbag." Marc ran back into his room, coming out with the item. "Don't forget it."

"I mean, if I forgot it here, that just means I'd have to come back for it, would it?" Nathaniel raised his eyebrows, pulling the keys from his bag.

Marc chuckled. "I'll call you soon. Love you."

"You too."

Marc was waving to him as the car drove off, but this time their goodbye wasn't as heavy.

This wasn't the end for them. It never had been.

This was the start of something new and beautiful.

Nathaniel eventually made it back home, avoiding his family and their no doubt many questions, back to his room.

He sat down on the edge of his bed. He felt like laughing, a lovesick smile already lifting the corners of his face with just the thought of Marc.

Maybe it was the old habits that never died in him, but Nathaniel wanted to draw Marc's face on the world's biggest canvas, make a masterpiece that would change the world with its beauty. But for now, a regular drawing would have to do.

He rifled through his bookbag, trying to find his sketchbook and pencil case-

And found another book.

"Marc, you sneaky, glorious, goddamn bastard," Nathaniel whispered. This one was bigger, almost five times the size of Marc's journal.

And, of course, there was a note taped to the front.

_To Nathaniel,_

_Sorry if this is a little short, I wanted to get this ready before you woke up._

_~~You're really cute when you sleep~~_

_~~Oh god that sounds creepy please disregard that~~_

_Leaving while knowing that I loved you was hard. But now that we're together again, and I know you love me back, I feel like it'll be even harder to say goodbye now._

_I know you'll come visit when you can. I'll be glad to have you._

_But until then, I wanted you to have this._

_You asked me before about a sequel to our comic, and I said I didn't have anything on paper yet._

_That was kind of a lie. I've been working on this a while now, something that focuses more on Mightillustrator and Reverser instead of the main four. I didn't plan to show this to you since I didn't know how you'd feel about me writing Reverser and Might developing a romantic relationship in this book._

_Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. And if you make any art that you think I might like, don't hesitate to send me a few pics._

_(Please don't read this all in one sitting and then visit me in the middle of the night again, as romantic as the first time was, I do actually need to sleep and you have things to do as well._ ~~_Also I spent several months writing this so maybe pace yourself a bit until I can find something else to give to you afterwards.)_ ~~

_With love,_

_From Marc._

**Author's Note:**

> Link to the discord server: https://discord.gg/vWmxUgx


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